Phthrrt - the Official Greetings Ceremony

The Phthrrt!!.

The official welcoming ceremony. Hold the fingers of one hand curled in a fist. Put the side of the hand against the mouth. Open the fingers at the same time as blowing a raspberry. The nearest English transliteration we could find was "phthrrt". Commentators vary in opinion about the precise number of 'r's, or the number of exclamation marks that should follow.

Restricted version for those who are facially challenged:
"Phtht". Sound made by the escape of a small amount of air out of the lips from in front of the teeth.

The spoons.

Obtain two cheap clunky dessert spoons. Expensive spoons don't work so well, Put in the fingers of one hand, between the first and second, and second and third fingers, with spoons facing outwards, back to back. Hold them so that the bowls are just touching. Then wait for some suitable music to be played, and clatter them against the knee and fingers of the other hand.
Excellent for annoying trained musicians.

Three man dance.

The three man dance comprises the centrepiece of the ceremony. To the tune of "The Keel Row"or similar jig (slow, else hospitalisation required). Three men of vastly dissimilar sizes, doing 4 bars each in random order of:
Circle left
Circle Right
Elephant Walk (hand under crotch to next hand, proceed forwards, then backwards)
Grab and Hop Left (hold left leg of man in front, hop anticlockwise, then backwards)
Grab and Hop Right (right leg, clockwise, then backwards)
Nose Swing (grab next nose, proceed forwards, backwards)
Collapse in Heap (finale, usually after Grab and Hop)

(guys, do we have a picture of this? I'm sure people would be curious.)

Also, the "Tent Peg Reel":

The wave ceremony

To finish. Medium wave from elbow position. Long wave from shoulder, short wave from wrist and micro wave from knuckle. VHF: wave, very fast. Standing wave: hold hand up and remain motionless.

Hitting the road ceremony.

To be performed as fellow members drive home. Kneel down on tarmac. Hit road.

May your jokes never develop a funny twist, and may your phthrrts be as fruitful as a bunch of mouldy strawberries.